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[Onkel Kage]

"The inventor of the language seems to have taken pleasure in complicating it in every way he could think of. For instance, if one is casually referring to a house (Haus) or a horse (Pferd) or a dog (Hund) he spells these words as I have indicated; but if he is referring to them in the Dative case, he sticks on a foolish and unnecessary e and spells them Hause, Pferde, Hunde. So, as an added e often signifies the plural, as the s does with us, the new student is likely to go on for a month making twins out of a Dative dog before he discovers his mistake; and on the other hand, many a new student who could ill afford loss, has bought and paid for two dogs and only got one of them, because he ignorantly bought that dog in the Dative singular when he really supposed he was talking plural..."

Written by American humorist Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens) in 1880.  Full text here is.

[CJ]

I'll reply with Dearest creature in creation

The first lines:

Dearest creature in creation,
Studying English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
It will keep you, Susy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
Pray console your loving poet,
Make my coat look new, dear, sew it.

CU
CJ

[Shazomei]

That's not to suggest of course that the English language doesn't have its own ignorances.

For example, having words which imply a number of tenses, like "read." (which can be applied to past and present tense)

Or words which have multiple definitions, like "live" - as in to live in a house, or a live electrical wire.

[Cairyn]

"but if he is referring to them in the Dative case, he sticks on a foolish and unnecessary e and spells them Hause, Pferde, Hunde..."

Ah, but that information is from 1880 indeed... no one in his right mind uses the dative "e" today in the above example, except he wants to sound old-fashioned upper-class quote-from-bookish. I even had to think about what "Hause" means without a "zu"... See, Germans strive to improve!

(Even overlooking that you buy "den Hund" or "die Hunde" before you can give "dem Hund"/"dem Hunde" or "den Hunden" a bone or two...)

A more serious problem these days are the many words imported from English, which ruin German pronounciation rules with their spelling and are in dire need of integration: Kompjuter, Sörfbort, Mänädscher, Förri, Ankelkage...

[Lokosicek]

...A more serious problem these days are the many words imported from English, which ruin German pronounciation rules with their spelling and are in dire need of integration: Kompjuter, Sörfbort, Mänädscher, Förri, Ankelkage...

Cairyn, you just become one of few furries, who owe me a new keyboard. Mine is currently sprayed with orange juice and therefore good for thrash-bin... 

I must make a mental note:

lesson: No drinking while reading EF forum...

[CodeCat]

You should try learning Dutch, then. It's like German except it got rid of all those cases and different plurals and all that, which it doesn't need anyway. The only downside is that nobody can pronounce it properly, and it sounds like a throat disease.

[vegivamp]

Wasn't Dutch considered one of the hardest languages to learn from scratch, even harder than Japanese ?

[CodeCat]

Depends on what you speak already. It wouldn't be hard for an English or German speaker, because Dutch is closely related to both of them. But for someone speaking for example Chinese, Finnish or Zulu it can be a bit of a problem.

[whitewulfe]

You should try learning Dutch, then. It's like German except it got rid of all those cases and different plurals and all that, which it doesn't need anyway. The only downside is that nobody can pronounce it properly, and it sounds like a throat disease.

Sounds like english out here, nobody can pronounce things correctly (or spell, the silly system I live in where several styles of spelling are accepted >.>)

[Lokosicek]

Wasn't Dutch considered one of the hardest languages to learn from scratch, even harder than Japanese ?

Ever tried learning Hungarian (Magyar)? Worse than Japaneese 

[CodeCat]

Forget that, try Khoisan!

[Lokosicek]

Forget that, try Khoisan[url]!

Oh yeah, I always wondered what was the language XiXao spoke

[Apheler]

Sounds like english out here, nobody can pronounce things correctly (or spell, the silly system I live in where several styles of spelling are accepted >.>)

I think the stuff they speak in Quebec is worse. They claim it was French but actual Frenchpeople told me it was some abomination of francophonetic English 

[whitewulfe]

I think the stuff they speak in Quebec is worse. They claim it was French but actual Frenchpeople told me it was some abomination of francophonetic English 

OH, c'mon, it ain't THAT bad.

Oh wait, closest I've ever been to Quebec is Ottawa and the Rideau Canal, lol

[Okami]

Well, I could understand it when I was in Montreal some years ago. So it isn't really that bad.